A Time To Remember (Part Four)

Today I am going to find out for sure if I am pregnant. Although I already know I am. Mom, Dad, and Alexa are picking me up after school to go to our local Crisis Pregnancy Center. I am very nervous. School is almost over. It is 3:00. Only five more minutes until I have to face my destiny...again.


The ride over to the CPC went very quickly. I am walking out of the car and heading toward the door. I do not know what to think or what to expect. Mom is opening the door. We walk in. Right foot, left foot. Good now I am in the dreaded room. There is a woman sitting at the front desk. She has a judgmental look on her face. Maybe this was not such a good idea. I stand there with my head down as the woman asks, "how can I help you today?"

"My daughter is pregnant," Mom says with no emotion. The woman looks shocked. I think to myself, "are we in the right place? I thought this lady could help me." The woman tells Mom that she is so sorry that I am with child. Like I am not even here. She says "to bad." Not the best first impression. I thought this would be a place that didn't judge me. I can't help what I did, it is over now. I am going to have a baby no matter how much I don't want to.

The woman is leading us into a back room now. She tells us to wait while she gets one of the counselors. Mom doesn't look to pleased with the lady's rudeness. Dad is just sitting there with a blank stare on his face, much like what I am doing. Alexa is silent while she observes the stark white room. Finally the woman returns with another woman. This woman looks pleasant. She introduces herself as "Judy." This may not be so bad after all.

After the initial introductions, Judy starts to tell me about what they offer here at the CPC. She is telling me about all the videos they have that will teach me what to expect during my pregnancy and beyond. "But first," she says, "we need to make sure you really are pregnant." So there I go walking the distance to the bathroom with a tiny cup in my hand. Do they really want me to pee in this? I do the job, and place the tiny cup into a miniature metal door in the wall. I wash my hands and walk back to the white room.

After what seems like an eternity, in comes Judy. "I bet you are hoping that the test came back negative?" I smile slightly. "Well, I am sorry honey but you are most definitely going to have a baby." I feel the tears stinging at my eyes once again. A feeling I am all to familiar with these days. The rest of the time goes by in a hurry. We talk about adoption and abortion, and how that is not an option for me. If I am going to get rid of this baby, it will be to a family who will love it forever.

We also talk about Matt. "He doesn't know yet, and he is not going to know at this point," Mom answers. I think that is best at this moment. I do not even know what Matt would think if I told him that he was going to be a daddy. No it is better to leave him out of this for now.

Judy is now handing me a bunch of paper to "study." I am to answer all the questions correctly and I will get some Mommy Dollars that I can spend here at their store. It is filled with everything you could ever need or want for a baby. I thank Judy, and promise to return the following week. I make an appointment for Monday.

We are all very pleased with our CPC experience (minus the lady at the front desk). Mom thinks that this will be a wonderful resource during my pregnancy. I am feeling more used to the fact that I am pregnant. Especially now that I know for sure. Now my journey truly begins. There is no turning back now...