Okay, I know I made just a real quick recap on my first day of school. Really, that was all to say. We've all been to high school (I hope) and we all know how it is. As the wise man Soloman said in the Good Book, "There is nothing new under the sun." Boy is that true! I was gone from my highschool for a year, and I figured things would be TOTALLY different, but there was nothing new. The halls were still overcrowded, the lunch room was so noisy you couldn't hear anything, everyone was still in there little groups and cliques, and there were still those handful of crochety old teachers who remind you of the guy from Ferris Beuller's Day Off.
Today was not much different. Everything was pretty much the same. It has been pretty cool though, I have already connected to two other teen mommies. :) One girl in my choir class is 12 weeks along. She is my age, and is taking it pretty well. The other is a Hispanic girl that I met this morning. I just kinda felt like God was pushing me towards her. I saw her before school walking from the office, as was I. I listened to God and introduced myself. She was very surprised to see this preppy white chick coming toward her, I could see it in her face. She probably thought I was yet another one of those stuck-up snobs who I came in contact with on a daily basis when I was pregnant in high school. >.<
ANYWAYS, I walked up to her and told her I was a teen mommy too. Her face IMMEDIETLY changed! We talked all the way to class. She is 8 month along, and due next month. She is having a little boy, and her ex is denying that he is the father. Ugh! Stupid sperm donors! >:O It was just really cool to see how God wants to use me this year. I may not have a lot of friends, or people I click with, but I can be a friend to others in my same situation.
I do, however, feel pretty alone at school. I feel like I don't belong. I don't care about all the gossip, and the boys, and making fun of the teachers. I just want to get my work done, and go home to see my baby. Its hard. I wont lie. I WANT to fit in, but its just not gonna happen. I am a mommy now. I am mostly okay with that. Like I said, I know I can be a friend to people, even if they aren't friends to me, but its just hard to be alone sometimes. But I have to remember that God is always there. He will always be my very bestest friend. :) So I am really going to use this year to shine God's light through me to others. I want Him to use me. I have decided to be positive, and if that means sitting all alone at lunch, then I am fine with it.
All that being said, I hope all those who are in school-whether that be middle school, high school, or college-are having a great start to the year, and I will be praying for all of you. :) And your prayers would be greatly appreciated as well. God bless everyone, I am off to bed.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
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Hey there Kylee! Sorry to hear that school isn't 100% what you want it to be. I'm soooo impressed and motivated by your positiveness though. I'm very proud of you. Study hard and you will do great things. Good luck! can't wait to hear about how things keep going. <3 xoxo p.s.I uploaded pictures just for you take a look ;)
ReplyDeleteI kind of understand where you're coming from. I went to uni at 27 years old and most of the guys in my class were like 18. i was the wrong gender, the wrong background and there was almost a generation gap between us. They constantly heckled me for not joining in but like you I just had other priorities - I was married, travelled 90 miles a day to get to uni and just couldn't spend all day socialising. I think after a while you just get to the point that you don't care what they think and I think you will reach that point very quickly. Best of luck with school - I'll be praying for you :)
ReplyDeleteHigh school would definitely be weird as a mommy, but it's kind of weird and uncomfortable for everyone at times, whether they show it or not. You are lucky, because when you've had a bad day, you can go home and have the privilege of being the most important and best person in one very sweet little girl's life!
ReplyDeleteawh kylee I wish I lived closer to you I'd seriously sit with you everyday at lunch I feel like we'd hit it off sooo good if we ever met hahah!!!
ReplyDeleteEverything I read about you just makes me want to better myself anyway possible I've even considered going back to church on the days I don't work early on sunday mornings. You just make it all seem worth it :)
I just wanted you to know that you are making a huge difference in more people lives then you realize everyone that reads you blogs probably thinks twice about the way they're living their life, I truly look up to you :)
and omgg yay I finally have someone else to make fun of with about being all matchy matchy haha My family cracks up when I bring all their gifts out and my moms is all purple and my brothers is all green hahah!!!